Episode 20: Ethics & Partnering for Real Results
Synopsis
Healing happens best, quickest, and easiest when we enter into an arrangement with a provider, a supporter, a coach, a co-creator with the higher perspective and the truth that in cases of emotional issues being automated by your subconscious, the problem always includes our perception of a problem, and that can be cleared. Shifting to a new perspective or higher timeline in weeks not years is where the leverage is. Excited to dive in today and discuss what really empowered support looks like.
Show Notes
When in the podcast I say, “Journeyer…” as I address anyone listening, it’s because I believe we’re all on independent but connected journeys of transformation, evolution, growth, change – we’re all moving forward, and we all have unique paths. I am no exception. I want to tell you a story today, about how I came into my own truth, one that I recently got to share with my community Strong Like Water.
Recently, a contract relationship of mine (of ~ two years) was coming to a close with someone who I had hired to support me privately 1:1 around some very important core issues. I was perceiving an issue. I didn’t feel as comfortable in online spaces. I had gotten much from the work I had done with this person, and they were not by any means the only resource I leaned on, but they were by far the most expansive financial investment I had made to that point. I consciously chose this person to support me – first for one year, and then for a second. And right out of the gate, I can honestly say I have no regrets. But sometimes the lesson you need to learn through something comes in different packaging than you expected.
Long story short, in this particular arrangement, I was being sold into a 3rd year and beyond, before we were 70 % through with the second term…
You know what it felt like to me?
Despair.
I had applied ample resources, time, and energy to address issues that were critical path in my life. I worked with this person for the longest and most intimate term available. Then I renewed a second year. And while there is absolutely no question that I had achieved so much growth and accomplished so many of the objectives that I wanted help with, it was confusing to be strongly encouraged (even strongly challenged) while still well within the term to continue into a third year after giving notice I would be stepping back from this particular investment of energy: especially considering some of the aspects of the conversation which ensued. (I’ll share some other time, as I think they really can be likened to red flags you or a loved one might be able to apply.}
I trusted this person, and it was precisely because of this trust, I was unconsciously struggling to reject the idea that there was by all account no end in sight to this work. I felt like I needed help… but I was being told during renewal conversations and all throughout the terms that the work never stops, and successful people always have coaches...
One main problem is that I didn’t totally disagree with either of these statements. But my own aspirations had become weights, and my own desires were being reflected back to me as minimum requirements… all leading back to some else’s “solution". I was drowning under the solution itself.
I needed something faster, I needed something complete, I needed something permanent. I needed someone to advocate for a graduation date for me.
Why wasn’t an exit strategy part of the solution space?
I have done so much embodiment work in my life, I had taken the actions. I have known for years that healing is possible which I don’t see reflected in so many of the offers, modalities, products, or “answers” out there in the world. I was holding
What I needed was for my support system to hold a flame to the truth for both of us that at some point we must stop trying to fix problems of perspective and must remember that we are already whole. At that point, we can take additional coaching, if we want – but not under the pretense of solving a problem. Because endlessly thinking we have “more work to do” without ever realizing we are whole is actually harmful. My belief is it’s practitioners’ role to see client in a healed state. That’s part of why we define clear terms and set goals.
After coming through this experience (I did not renew again), and a lot of processing what it meant for me, the most beneficial aspect was how much it refined and crystalized my awareness of my values and of a special torch that I bear: important information I have been carrying for many years, but never achieved the clarity to share. Contrast can be a very efficient teacher. Thanks to this experience, I am now more clear:
Healing doesn’t have to be a new club you join, or that “work” that you need to do for the rest of your life. That’s not your purpose.
Problems can be solved.
AND.
And. In the same breath I want to remind you:
A perspective exists where there is no problem at all.
We will get more into this later. But that fact doesn’t diminish the work that DOES need to be done, or take away from the value that a practitioner provides us, or in any way contradict the fact that something has to change and you need help to do it.
What it does is keep us, you and me Amanda in congruence with the truth of the way healing happens.
Healing happens best, quickest, and easiest when we enter into an arrangement with a provider, a supporter, a coach, a co-creator with the higher perspective and the truth that in cases of emotional issues being automated by your subconscious, the problem always includes our perception of a problem, and that can be cleared. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn’t make the problem insignificant to acknowledge this:
Because if you’re hurting, or not happy – going through all the motions but not fulfilled, and suffering, even while you compare your suffering to others’ and minimize or trivialize it,
Then if you also have your basic needs met, I’d say whatever “it” is, it’s the most important problem going on. I say this because this type of problem incapacitates you from your mission and purpose. And for many people that feel called to work with me personally, that extra layer of guilt is like the icing on the cake. Shifting to a new perspective or higher timeline in weeks not years is where the leverage is.
What do I believe:
I believe we have allowed the meaning of the word healing to become synonymous with a pasttime, or with a never ending problem that will always require our attention, and consume our energy, or with addictive perspectives on morning routines of self care that feed our “not enough-ness” instead of our higher needs. Your highest hopes might at some point have been reduced to a pattern of coping and/or just doggy paddling.
What I know is: the modality you use to achieve something must be in alignment with the goal you are seeking to attain.
What I mean is that if you want freedom, the path there is also one of freedom.
If you want self trust, the process will involve you trusting yourself and others.
If you want to discover and access how much personal power you actually have, the modality must itself be empowering.
In the days to come, there are a couple of other thoughts which have become clear to me in the last few months, which have already shifted the way I be in the world, and the way we you and I can interact through the business, Amanda. It’s been a very transformative time for me personally, and I am truly proud to share such awareness with you, when I believe it will benefit. I would love to know if this email helped you in any way, and what you took from it.
As we wrap this up, even though my email Sunday was a little "impassioned"... I hope it supported you. It's been far too long since I saw the forest for the trees myself regarding the broader landscape of how commercialism and commoditization of healing is affecting us collectively, but my chief concern when communicating to you is that what I'm sharing makes sense and is useful to YOU. So my wish is that you consider these emails to be open dialogue, especially if you have questions along the way...
Today I just wanted to pop in with a gift. I am very proud to be able to share this with you today. It's not something you will encounter elsewhere.
You see, I'm in an apprenticeship right now to elevate the work that I'm doing, and the way it's being delivered. This resource was passed down to me from my teacher with permission to record in my own voice. To her from another teacher, from her to me. It's yours: all you have to do is opt in through the form right here and it will be delivered to you.
Those of you who have audios from me in the past will find this to be on another level as far as audios go. Not only that, but if you begin to use it daily, I believe you will experience positive changes very quickly. When I first began using it myself, the shifts were noticeable and almost immediate. They have greatly supported me in some of the hardest transitions I've personally navigated.
This tool is free not because it's not valuable, but because it IS. I hope that anyone and everyone who can benefit from it can receive it. I only ask that you share it by allowing people to join the community, as it is and always will be free. Invite others into the warmth of receiving that being connected by email allows.
Take care, until our paths cross next!